Un-Apologies

 In the mirror what do i see?

Painted by words in my memories.

Insults tattooed across my skin as their meanings set in.

The pain with spoken having been repressed.

Why am i always filled with sadness or anger?

In the darkness it sits and waits a foe i’ve always known. 

Demons of my own.

Strings i thought i snapped turned out to still be attached.

The Mask i’ve always worn is slowly cracking as the heart is torn.

I forgot long ago about the veil, Honestly i should have just bailed.

Forced connection that caused more harm then what was promised.

Every pain and cut, missed as it gets repressed. 

Why did i just notice?

It seems i need assistance but i dont know how.

Am i lying to myself and others?

Am i just puting on a show?

Am i pretending just to be the center of attention or was i never one at all?

Were my emotions and feelings valid or were they just vengeance wanting to strike?

Why were my emotions attacked? My feelings denied of what they truely meant?

I tried to escape it , but i probably would not make it.

Should i just take it or should i try to fake it?

Why must i bury the hatchet if its never even seen a casket. 

Why was my anger defined as an attitude?

If i were to be honest, i could simply have bought it but now the state of mind is out of control.

Why do i feel like a broken soul?

Cause in the mirror i see is not who i am or who i see is made of the voices that were inside of me.

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