wrong me

I don't know what's wrong with me and I hate it. In my head in my mind way to many sides with stuff to say. Am I real am I me, what the hell am I supposed to be. I've lost my way. Long ago when I was me when I was happy and there was peace then life became hell where war constantly dwelled and fights fought every day. Shut my mind shit it down kick the words right out but I'm not me. I shouldn't have survived I was supposed to die and leave earth long before this time. Why does the clock keep ticking down the hours and days to the point of end. I have so much left to do but my mind won't give me piece each sides a shard of who I once was and she can't be replaced. He doesn't see what I do when the shard at war focus on the game or be in pain. The clock ticks down final hour isn't now, just be brave but truth is it's just a face in the crowd as it's cracking down to shatter apart, I'm sorry broken heart, I wish I was me, I wish I could feel what was truely real, but instead I see all the lies faults, what is in my head when will I be dead, why don't I feel dread. Need to stay alive but every instinct fights that I should just die. They give me reasons why to not continue this fight. They are right but the clock not done and the sun's not set it isn't time yet. I can't get up high or I'll fly. I can't go drive cause I don't wanna say bye. Reduce the sugar in my life, diabetics know why. 

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